Is Anyone Out There?

Three weeks from tomorrow, the semester will be over and I will be home. My 2nd semester at college. I am very sad that I won't be here at school anymore--with my new friends, doing Elementary projects, etc, but I am actually really looking forward to going home. I kind of have a summer bucket list that I want to do this summer, plus, I get free food, free laundry, I have a nice big comfy bed, and my family that I get to hang out with. I'll also be back working at "the Train", so I can finally have money again to spend on education. Wooooooot. :) Anyways, here is my summer bucket list I hope to do this summer:

1. Go to all my friends' farewells/homecomings/weddings/etc.
2. Watch the Harry Potter series, and hopefully read all the books.
3. Watch a sunset with a friend/my friends.
4. Camp outside in the yard with a fire, hot dogs, and s'mores.
5. Go on a picnic.
6. Try out Pinterest recipes.
7. Get good at making things in a Crock-Pot.
8. Make bread a lot.
9. Have long talks and walks with friends.
10. Laugh hard and laugh often.
11. Enjoy the beauty of summertime.
12. Play outside with my friends/family often.
13. Finish Doctor Who series. :)
14. Ride my bike with my brothers to the playground and play games like we used to.
15. ENJOY SUMMER.

That's about all I can think of for that one. I'm really looking forward to summer. Warm days and a bright sun sound so good right now, haha. I'm also glad to get away from Rexburg and get back to Heber!

Things in my classes are going well right now. My grades are better than last semester, even though my classes are a lot harder, one of my teachers told me I can retake anything I want so that I get the grade that I want (thank heavens!), and most of my teachers actually know my name--they know me personally, which I really kind of like.

I've been a Relief Society teacher this semester, and although I only taught twice for this semester, I loved teaching. I taught a lesson on becoming more perfect through the Lord and a lesson on the potential we all have in the life to come--we all have a "grand destiny". It's been really great, and I've had many people come up to me either after the lesson on Sunday or sometime throughout the week to tell me that whatever I said in the lesson, whether by me or the manual, was something they really needed to hear. I'm glad that I'm that in tune enough with the Spirit that I can help the girls in my RS--that's what it's really all about. Helping them get through their trials and helping them increase their testimony of the Savior.

The other day, I was talking to my friends, and to one of them, the topic of marriage came up, and I jokingly said, "Who would ever want to end up with me? I'm a little crazy!" I then started thinking that I was kind of crazy, that I wasn't a type of person someone would really want, etc, and it was kind of sad for me to think about--they were crazy ideas, and I know they weren't true, but that thought altogether was just hard for me to imagine--not falling in love and ending up with someone. But the friend that I was with just started laughing as I was imagining these things, smacked my arm, grabbed me, and looked me in the eyes and said, "Brittany, are you kidding? Of course you'll be married. Geez! I'd be shocked if I came back from my mission and you were still single! Boys want to snatch you up! Unfortunately, you have to find a guy good enough here for you--you're better than most of the boys here. You just have to be patient in finding him, don't worry. He's out there--you just have to find each other. I wouldn't worry about getting married, Brittany. You dress really cute, your hair is gorgeous, you have amazingly big blue eyes that twinkle when you laugh, your laugh is hilarious, your sense of humor is super funny, and you are so loving and caring about everyone. Why on earth would someone not want that?" I turned to her as we were walking and all I could do was smile and give her a really awkward hug. (If you've ever tried hugging someone and walking, don't. It's really awkward, haha.) The other friend I was talking to about it was online, and they said that they would also be shocked if I wasn't married soon--almost like both of them could see it coming. I'm not saying that marriage is right around the corner, or that it's everything I think about (even though it pretty much is), but I'm glad that they told me that. I'm glad that I have good enough friends to tell me what they think, why they think it, etc, and that I have time to work on myself and become more comfortable with who Brittany Rowe really is.

And you know what? As awkward as I really am, I love everything about myself. I love my quirks, my interests, my personality, my laugh, my smile, my sense of humor, my testimony, my religion, and even my bad ability to cook (even though I can bake like no ones business). :) And that makes me happy.

So when I have a huge inspirational/motivational surge to do something, I have to act on it, or it goes away and it's extremely hard to get it back. This past week, I've been feeling like I just needed to build my testimony more--but not in a short-term way. I don't feel like I don't have a testimony, I just feel like since I'm more on my own now that I've come to college, I really want to know what my foundation is that I stand on. I want to know what my foundation is built out of when the storms come to try to take me off of it. Is there family in there? Charity? Love? Christ? Music? Friends? Church? Etc? I know many things are true, but I don't know what my foundation is. Does that make sense at all? It does in my head, but it's such a major thinking and life changing process--it's not just a simple question to look over and have an answer for in one day, one week, or even a month. And I wanted something to help me over this process of finding my foundation.

I went with my friend spontaneously to the bookstore one day last week, and was just walking around the journal/notebook section like I usually do, looking at all the ridiculously overpriced journals that are just so darn cute, when I went to another section of the store that I usually never go to. It's the section that has books on topics like addiction or other severe things like that, but there were a few journals, so I walked over there. Immediately, I felt like I needed to look on the top shelf for something. There was a book that was also a journal, which really intrigued me. I love books that have you write things as you go along your day to see how you're feeling. It was called "A Walk with the Savior". It is a journal that will take you through a 365 day period where each week has a certain focus on bettering yourself and becoming more like the Savior. I felt such a strong prompting to buy the book, even though I didn't have the right card with me to purchase it. I had my student ID card, which, usually I'm able to purchase things at the bookstore with, but this time, the checkout person told me that I-Cards only work for school supplies, not journals or anything. I thought that maybe I could just say, "Oh okay, I'll come back for it later then, no worries." and then just be done. Not have to buy the book or anything--I didn't really want to spend $25 on a book that I knew I wouldn't finish or read all the way through. But the man behind the counter said, "Well, usually I don't do this, but I feel like I need to hold this journal for you so that you can come back and get it." Right when he said that, I almost started crying because I knew I needed to get it. I told him I would be right back, I ran to my dorm which was right across the street, grabbed my wallet, and then was walking back to the store when two major concerns crossed my mind: 1) the store should have been closed by the time I would have been back, and 2) I didn't know if I had enough money on my debit card to buy the book. I shrugged off the two worries and put them in the back of my mind, and then got to the store doors. They were open, and I walked in, and the man at the counter smiled. I prayed silently that there was enough money on my card left, and he swiped it. It went through and I had the journal, and I felt like I had done the right thing--that I had done what the Spirit needed me to do. I got home, and I looked at how much I had left on my card: a whopping 96 cents. I am so glad that I had just enough to purchase this journal. And so far, it's really been a great journey. And I'm only on day 5! :) So far, this week is about realizing what distractions are in your life that might take you away from the Savior and getting rid of them so that the Savior is closer to you in your life. So far, I think I've just really been eliminating time I'm spending on Facebook or Pinterest that kind of keep me from doing other things, and it's really helped. I already have so much more time to do things where I didn't find it before.

Well, aside from these many things, I'm looking forward to moving out of my dorm, going back to Heber, and seeing my family and my friends, some of which, will be the last time I see them before they leave on their missions.

Here is a picture I found that kind of sums up how I feel right now with life as a college student:

 

Yep. That's me. :) 

Live. Love. Laugh. Grow.