As much as that may show that I'm a slacker, I think it also has shown that this year has been really great. There have been amazing things that have happened, as well as some not so bueno things.
All in all though, this year has helped me grow closer to my Savior. I have found that when I don't have time to write on my blog, or call friends like I was able to, or just go hang out with anyone whenever I wanted to, I realized that the Savior and my Heavenly Father were always there for me. Not when they needed me most, or when I was at my lowest, but they were consistently there for me--supporting me through the hard times, cheering me through the great times, and helping guide me through the foggy times, where I didn't know where the next step was leading me.
I love the talk, "It is Better to Look Up" by Carl B. Cook, given in the October 2011 General Conference. I feel like it especially described my life this past year, and I have come to learn how to do this better, and although I am no expert in this principle, I know it has some amazing power to it. Looking up to God for help and support instead of sideways to the world brings some incredible power, insights, and strength that is otherwise impossible to find in the corrupt world we live in.
"Experience has taught me that if we, like President Monson, exercise our faith and look to God for help, we will not be overwhelmed with the burdens of life. We will not feel incapable of doing what we are called to do or need to do. We will be strengthened, and our lives will be filled with peace and joy. We will come to realize that most of what we worry about it not of eternal significance--and if it is, the Lord will help us. But we must have the faith to look up and the courage to follow His direction."
(Link to the AMAZING talk here!)
So, in summary, here's what happened this past year, just to catch all of you up:
January-April 2015:
Finished my second semester at Utah State, and absolutely loving my major, the friends and roommates I had, and the fact that it was now summer time and I didn't have any homework anymore. I was on the Dean's List for both this semester as well as the semester before, which was also exciting. In this semester I got a job (for the following school year) as a Teaching Assistant for a graduate school preparation and professionalism class, as well as being accepted on USU's College of Education Student Council as my major's representative and the Marketing Vice President.
May-August 2015:
Worked at Aspen Grove as a cook again, and loved the girls I worked with. I had so much fun every day, and even though living in a cabin in the middle of the woods was not ideal, it taught me that I am braver than I think (which is saying something--I'm still a chicken!), I am learning to love those I work and serve with, and that nature is God's incredible gift to us, but we sometimes have to really learn how to appreciate it. Capturing and throwing out 22 mice this summer in our cabin was definitely a highlight (insert sarcasm here), but I'm really glad I don't have to worry about that anymore. I had no internet, so that was a learning experience when I had to rely on phone calls and face-to-face interactions. Yes, I know, that sounds sad, but it's hard when you're a teaching assistant and can't grade papers online for your job until you go home to visit family and have to use the time to grade papers.
My brother, Darren, also left on his mission to Fukuoka, Japan, and we couldn't be happier. It was really hard on me when he first left, and I'm glad I was at work all the time to distract me, because when I wasn't working, or if I was with family, it took all I had to not break into tears. Darren and I had become really close, and it was hard to let him go for so long. However, I will say now (speaking from March 2016's perspective) that I am so happy and proud of him being out there. Yes, I miss him, but I don't cry over it or dwell on it anymore. I am excited that he is having the experiences he is having, and am looking forward to when he comes back next summer (July 2017).
Also, this summer was a lot of fun because my best friend, Robyn Kirkland (now Martin), got married in August! It was a whirlwind of emotions, mostly excited ones, but with marriage also comes the reality that you won't see or talk to each other as often as before. Which is great, that's the point of marriage. Anyways, I got to be her maid of honor, which I absolutely loved! We planned the bridal shower, I designed her bridal shower invitations, and I got to be there on her wedding day, in the pictures at the Bountiful Temple, as well as at her reception later in the afternoon. It was a beautiful day, and I am so grateful she found the man she will love for eternity and have a family with.
August-December 2015:
This was a crazy semester! I had so many things going on, and I have no idea (looking back) how it all worked out and fell into place. I was taking 18 credits, I was also registered in an additional 3 credits in Institute, I was serving in my church capacities, and I was starting to date someone. I took the GRE to qualify for graduate school, I was turning in graduate school applications, and turning in my undergraduate degree graduation applications as well. I made the Dean's List again for this semester of school too. It was a crazy whirlwind, and I don't know how I came out of it without going crazy or with more gray hairs on my head. And yes, I have a few gray hairs. Thank you, college life. :) Also, this was the first Christmas in 3 years that I wasn't stuck laying in bed for a few weeks because of hospital procedures. It was my ingrown toenails first, then my wisdom teeth the next Christmas, and then ingrown toenails again last Christmas. It was nice to be able to walk around and not be on pain medicine and sleeping through my entire break!
January-May 2016:
Although I'm not taking as many credits as I was last semester (I'm currently taking 16), it's still a crazy semester. I am taking much harder classes, and some are much more frustrating because of the teacher's unrealistic or unnecessary expectations. It's been a rough semester as well. I broke up with the boy I had been dating, I found out I didn't make it into graduate school at either USU or BYU, and I had no idea where my life was going. It felt like all I had been working for was now thrown upside down, and had flown out the window, leaving me extremely confused and really anxious for what I was supposed to be doing. I realized that I probably have some sort of anxiety, more than what most people experience, but not enough that is debilitating, which I am thankful for. I have realized that this is a weakness that Heavenly Father has given me to help me overcome things and become stronger from--not to back away from and be scared of.
After a lot of praying, worrying, and finally remembering to "look up" (refer to previous talk link), I realized that God had never left my side, when I had left His, worrying and wandering, trying to find my way around and wondering what I was supposed to be doing. I needed to be patient, and go through a difficult time to realize what my answer was and where He needs me at a certain time.
Because I didn't make it into graduate school, I knew I needed to find an actual "big girl" job (as most people my age refer to "real" jobs as), which was extremely exciting, but really nerve-racking for me. I turned in about 15 job applications, to which I didn't get any responses from. However, after turning in one more, that to this day, I still don't really recall how I found their application and submitted it, I got a phone call asking for an interview to be a speech language technician (SLT) at the George Washington Academy in St. George, Utah. We held a Skype interview on Friday, and on Monday they asked for my references, contacted them, and offered me the job an hour later. I was initially supposed to go through a second interview with the principal, but after the Special Education Director and the Speech Pathologist talked to the principal about me and what my references said, the principal was so excited that she told them to just go ahead and extend the job offer without that second interview.
Things worked out, and even though I went through a very foggy and unknown path for a few months, where I was terrified and stressed out every day with what the future would hold, the more I turned to my Heavenly Father and "looked up", the more peace and comfort I was given, knowing that He never left my side. I just had to learn to trust in His timing, and realize that hard times will happen--we just need to recognize the Lord's hand in our lives to be okay with our current circumstances.
I was able to also audition and make it into USU's Symphony Orchestra, which has been so incredibly fun! I have been in one concert so far, with another coming up at the end of April. I was in the Gershwin and Rachmaninoff piano concertos as a 2nd violin, and will be in the Scheherazade piece as well as an opera piece written by Beethoven as a 2nd violin in April. It is so much fun, and makes me want to find a symphony orchestra in St. George to play in when I move there later this year.
Also, I will be graduating with my Bachelor's of Science degree in Communication Disorders & Deaf Education on May 7, 2016!! I am so excited to finally have a degree, be moving to St. George, and to be moving on in my life. I am ready for no more homework, for a real job, and to have such great opportunities in front of me. I feel like a new chapter of my life is about to begin, and I can't wait for what the future holds.
Live. Love. Laugh. Grow.
