Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep

You ever have those days that turn out completely different than what you had expected and planned for? 

Yeah, me neither. 

Totally kidding, I know it happens all the time. 

Yesterday though was a pretty good wake-up call. 

I had planned to go to classes, and then since registration for next semester is coming up in about two weeks, I had signed up for an appointment with my advisor to go over classes that I needed to be taking in the spring. 

Thank goodness I did. As we were going along, talking about my credits, what classes I needed to take, etc, she noticed that I only had 56 credits, listing me technically as a sophomore. No thanks, I don't want to do an extra year. I am a junior, not a sophomore. After this semester, I should have over 75 credits that I've done, not 56. 

We dove into the problem and found that BYU-Idaho hadn't sent over my transcript correctly. It could have been a problem on my end, it could have been them, but we don't really know what happened. By some miracle I was still allowed into this major at a junior classification level, but without fixing this transfer process, I would not be able to continue my education next semester, at least in this major. 

With that little freak out being taken care of, hopefully finished by the end of this week, I then was just having a hard day on top of everything else. Classes were hard for me to focus in, and all my assignments seemed to conveniently pile up on the same day. 

Last night was hard, just thinking about all the things that seemed to be going wrong. Then, the worst thing happened. I started doubting myself. "Maybe I wasn't supposed to come to USU", "Why am I even in this major?", "Why am I living in Logan?", "Why am I doing a hard major?", etc etc etc.

It all started to pile up on me and, obviously, started making things worse. But then, randomly, two things popped into my mind. The first was part of the song in Bing Crosby's play, White Christmas, that I played in the pit for during high school. 

The other thing that popped in my head was a set of scriptures. It was weird that this passage of scripture came to me--I haven't read this section in a while. It's in Ecclesiastes 3: 1-11. It talks about how there is a season for everything, a time for every purpose, and that God is behind all the timing of everything.

This brought peace to my heart, knowing that I AM supposed to be here. Just because we are following the impressions of the Spirit and acting on them doesn't mean that the path will be easy or free from trials. Trials are there to help us realize how blessed we are and how dependent we are on the Lord. This past week has made me realize how much the Lord really is in the details of our lives. Nothing I do is because I wanted it that way. I do it, sometimes thinking I was the one who made the decision, and I did. But the Lord was 100% behind me, encouraging me, and supporting me through everything. 

I guess the lesson to learn from this rambling post, is to trust in the Lord and His timing. It may not make sense to us at the present moment, but He can see everything, He is all-knowing, and He knows what is best for us. Sure, we all have our agency. But trusting in Him and going on the path He wants us on is the best guide we could ever have in this life. 

It's just been this past week that makes me realize that really, we receive certain blessings at certain points in our life. Points we reach that have stretched us, made us gone without, made us rely on Him and develops our faith in Him. 

Instead of worrying about why you are where you are in life, why you aren't married, why you're at a certain school, why your close friends are far away, etc, thank Heavenly Father for all your blessings, and realize that He is preparing you, building you up, and getting you ready for what He has in store for you. Everyone has a different story. Just because your story isn't like everyone else's doesn't mean it is wrong. 

In fact, that makes it even more beautiful.

Live. Love. Laugh. Grow.

Hope Smiles Brightly Before You

Recently, it seems like all I've heard is C.S. Lewis quotes or excerpts from his writings, and I fall in love with them more and more each time I hear them. Just like the above quote, we cannot see the sun, but by the sun everything in our world is illuminated so that we can see. I love that our physical sun can so easily be compared to the Son of God, our brother, Jesus Christ. We cannot see Christ here in mortality, but because of His example, His love, and His gospel, we can see things important to our life here on mortality that are also important for our post-mortal life.

We were sent here to show our Heavenly Father that we love Him and would try our hardest to return to live with Him again one day. The only way possible for this true act of love for our Heavenly Father would require us to leave Him for a short while by receiving a mortal body that was imperfect and susceptible to temptation and pain. We knew it wouldn't be easy, but we must have known how incredibly worth it coming to Earth would be if we were willing to leave our heavenly family, fully knowing that we could easily fall off of the path and not make it back one day. But how great would God's joy be, as well as ours, when we one day are able to stand with Him again, knowing and recognizing Him as our literal Father, and showing Him that we truly did keep all His commandments and walk in the ways He taught us from the very beginning because we wanted to live with Him. Not because we were forced to--we all have our own agency--but because there was something in our spirit that helped motivate us to keep pushing forward to reach that great eternal reward of living with our Heavenly Father again one day. 

I can't wait for the day where I can meet my Heavenly Father, and tell Him how much I love Him and how much I had missed Him. Even though the trials and judgments we face every day for our religion, our beliefs, or other things can sometimes be overwhelming or seem impossible to overcome, I know that if we continue in faith and perseverance, we can one day stand proudly before Him, and know without a doubt that we tried our hardest, and He will be able to tell that we loved Him and we loved the gospel by how we lived our life. 

Live. Love. Laugh. Grow.