Remember my last post? The one where I said we need to be happy in the moment? To "stop seeking the storms and more fully enjoy the sunlight?"
It's funny how life can quickly flip flop on you, almost like a test, just to see if you really were paying attention.
The closest thing I can think of is when you're in a car with someone and they yell, "Brake test!", quickly slamming on the brakes, making sure you have your seat belt on. Yes, you're tucked in and protected by that seat belt, but you're kind of thrown about, making you realize how grateful you are for the boundaries you have, the testimony you have, and the security of the gospel wrapped around you.
That probably makes it sound like this week was the worst week of my life. It really wasn't, but it definitely wasn't as great as last week. It's hard to have weeks where you feel on top of Cloud 9, having assignments turned in early, and having spare time, feeling the Spirit every second of every day, and having things go just your way to then turn to the next week, struggling to just get by every day without feeling like you're up to your nose in homework, feeling behind, or just struggling to get everything done that you need to.
For whatever reason, today was just a hard day. Perhaps it was just a Monday. Perhaps it's just the cabin fever going on. Perhaps it was because it was so nice outside last week, and then snowed and was extremely cold and windy today. I don't know.
However, I somehow pulled the good from it. It was exhausting, but I wasn't overwhelmed, I wasn't beaten up over it, and I managed to end the day with a smile. It may or may not have been forced, but it was a smile!
It helped when I turned my phone on this morning, waking up to my scripture app, saying, "...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." (Philippians 4:11)
Often, I'll find myself wishing I was a few steps ahead, or just knowing what comes next in the picture of my life. All my life I've had something I could control just ahead of me. High school turned into college, I picked my degree, and had a plan for four years, etc. But now, looking ahead, there's unlimited possibilities, and a lot of them are things that I don't really control. Things such as student teaching placements, marriage, etc.
However, there are two things that I've learned that I can somewhat control in my life:
1. I know that even more than teaching in Elementary schools, I want to further my education and get a Master's degree in Speech-Language Pathology. I don't know which school I'd go through to get that, but a few have caught particular attention of mine: Boston University, BYU Provo, and Idaho State University, as well as Utah State University. I'd love to help kids in schools, patients in nursing homes, rehabilitation centers, hospitals, etc, be able to get their ability of speech back. Plus, I'd have to learn sign language, which is something I've always wanted to learn how to do!
2. To be content and happy with my life right now, I can take control of the situations I'm in, make the most of them, and just realize the beauty in every day that is given to me. I'm really good at the "I'll be happy when..." trap, but that's something I'm trying to change. I want to look back at where I am in a few years with a smile on my face, remembering how much I enjoyed my time by myself, where I learned and grew the most, and pursued an education, rather than dreaming and putting together unrealistic or premature expectations of my future, wasting time on things that I could otherwise be doing something beneficial, etc.
Things will happen when and where they are supposed to happen, if we are living to our best potential and living according to Heavenly Father's will. He has a greater plan than we do, but we still have to take action on our lives. That's what agency was given to us for.
I hope you join me on this journey of being content with where we are right now. Don't wish for things you can't control--or at least, don't be dwelling on them. Live the life you can control, and Heavenly Father will step in and fill in the blanks of the life you can't control. Life the life Heavenly Father would be proud of, and live the life that you would be proud of.
Live. Love. Laugh. Grow.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Today was meant for ME
Have you ever woken up and just known it was going to be a long and really hard day?
Yeah, that was this morning for me. Maybe it was just the effects of Daylight Savings, but I haven't been able to sleep that well lately. It all caught up to me last night, but it effected my outlook on today.
I woke up, hurried and finished my homework, got dressed in 10 minutes and somehow pulled myself out the door in time for my first class. I started the morning with a pretty negative attitude, but I kept saying this silent little prayer that I would know that everything would be okay--that my classes would go well, that I would learn what I needed to, and that I would end on a better note than I started, even though it felt like an impossible feat.
For my first class, there was a girl I sit by that gave the devotional before class. She gave a talk on agency and accountability, and it was from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet, something that I haven't picked up since my years of being in Young Women's back home. She read one simple quote, "Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct your life is one of God's greatest gifts to you."
That hit me. Made me realize that it was my choice to have a negative attitude that morning. The only person responsible for how you feel and react to things is yourself. I started thinking about if I was leading the type of life that Heavenly Father would want me to lead, and started to become happier. I'm getting an education, I have an internship in place over the summer that will help me in my major and understanding kids and their developmental stages, and will give me new opportunities, and I am striving to do what Heavenly Father wants me to do, as well as being where He wants me to be.
I told this girl after class that I really enjoyed her thought, something I rarely ever do. I'm really quite shy at giving compliments or telling someone something that's on my mind. I think a lot of things like that, but I rarely voice them. She smiled, and told me she felt like she needed to speak on that today, and I told her it was probably for me. I just needed to reopen my eyes to that great gift of life and agency that Heavenly Father has given us.
We ended up talking for a while as I walked to my next class, and we talked about a lot of great things--spiritually, academically, and just in general.
As we were finishing talking and I was about to walk into my classroom, a girl that I have never met or seen before stood by me, like she was waiting to tell me something. As I turned to her, she grabbed my arm, smiled and said, "I just wanted to let you know that your glasses are so adorable! You look so cute in them!"
I stood there speechless, and just smiled at her, half-laughed out of surprise and thanked her for that. It was such a simple gesture, but it meant so much to me today. I don't know if it was coincidence or not, but maybe she was prompted by the Spirit to say something and cheer me up a little bit.
I sat through my next few classes (even had a teacher extend a date on a project that most of the class, including me, hadn't known about), and tried to just keep a positive attitude. As I left class, a random girl walked by me on the sidewalk, and complimented me on my glasses as well, telling me that they were "super cute". I haven't had people compliment my glasses that much in one day before! I walked the rest of the way to devotional by myself, just smiling, knowing that Heavenly Father was sending these little messages to me to help me feel better about myself and today in general. The sun shining and birds singing definitely made it better too!
I walked into the I-Center (where we have devotionals) and sat down by myself, getting my journal out and just pouring out gratitude for today. I then said a little prayer of thanks, and to have devotional say at least something that was meant for me.
However, not one thing was said that was meant for me. Instead, the ENTIRE devotional was meant for me. It was such an incredible experience. Two of my favorite hymns were sung, "There is Sunshine in my Soul", as well as "I Know That My Redeemer Lives".
Lately, I haven't necessarily felt sad or anything, but it just has felt like something has been missing. Looking back, I know it's a difference of how much time I spend online on Pinterest, Facebook, or even just on things that are distracting me from what's really important. There's a lot of interesting information out there, but information that I could save for later, or at least not binge on instead of reading scriptures, listening to General Conference talks, or reading church publications. I had a week where I completely cut out (or extremely limited myself) social media and instead filled that time with listening to talks from General Conference as I did my homework.
Let me just say, that was an incredible experience, and I don't know why I really stopped doing it the next week. The only excuse I have is that I kept finding excuses like, "I don't have enough time", or "I've listened to so many lately, I'll just take a break for a little bit." Don't do that! I should have connected my positive experience with my striving for the Spirit, but instead I just took a "break" that led to me not feeling as happy or complete, or even just capable of doing what I had been able to just a week ago.
Brother Stoddard gave the devotional talk today, and it was about "Living in the Manner after Happiness". He talked about how in many instances, adversity doesn't always come from being disobedient to the commandments, and don't have to do with sin at all. Some adversity comes from our weaknesses, other's choices, and the simple fact that we live in a Telestial Kingdom--it's never going to be easy!
We will always have adversity, but it is up to us to decide how to handle the life we have been given. The three tips he gave were to have:
1) Faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, knowing that they have been through exactly what we are going through right now, and the situations we are in are for the molding and shaping of our spiritual benefit,
2) Keep an eternal perspective, and as my piano teacher once said, "Begin with the end in mind."
3) Take action, don't be acted upon. Show Heavenly Father you want the best for your life, and are willing to do anything to follow Him.
I won't jot down all the notes I took, but I'm glad I forgot my devotional notebook and had to bring my regular school spiral bound notebook today--I filled up 5 pages worth of notes!
Long story short, if you're still reading this, know that Heavenly Father really does know what you are going through, what you need to be able to get through it, and knows you CAN get through it. You will not be put through any situation He knows you can't get through! Adversity is there for us to be tested, but will be a blessing in disguise for us, if we handle it well. Through our adversities, we gain testimonies, compassion, and advice for others who land in adversity as well.
Don't fall into the "I'll be happy when ____" trap. Be happy with where you are right now! Make the best out of every situation!
And know that if you look for the good in every situation, Heavenly Father will help send blessings to help you realize that the situation isn't as bad as we make it out to be.
I know He did that for me today.
Today was meant for me. And I am so thankful!
Live. Love. Laugh. Grow.
Yeah, that was this morning for me. Maybe it was just the effects of Daylight Savings, but I haven't been able to sleep that well lately. It all caught up to me last night, but it effected my outlook on today.
I woke up, hurried and finished my homework, got dressed in 10 minutes and somehow pulled myself out the door in time for my first class. I started the morning with a pretty negative attitude, but I kept saying this silent little prayer that I would know that everything would be okay--that my classes would go well, that I would learn what I needed to, and that I would end on a better note than I started, even though it felt like an impossible feat.
For my first class, there was a girl I sit by that gave the devotional before class. She gave a talk on agency and accountability, and it was from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet, something that I haven't picked up since my years of being in Young Women's back home. She read one simple quote, "Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct your life is one of God's greatest gifts to you."
That hit me. Made me realize that it was my choice to have a negative attitude that morning. The only person responsible for how you feel and react to things is yourself. I started thinking about if I was leading the type of life that Heavenly Father would want me to lead, and started to become happier. I'm getting an education, I have an internship in place over the summer that will help me in my major and understanding kids and their developmental stages, and will give me new opportunities, and I am striving to do what Heavenly Father wants me to do, as well as being where He wants me to be.
I told this girl after class that I really enjoyed her thought, something I rarely ever do. I'm really quite shy at giving compliments or telling someone something that's on my mind. I think a lot of things like that, but I rarely voice them. She smiled, and told me she felt like she needed to speak on that today, and I told her it was probably for me. I just needed to reopen my eyes to that great gift of life and agency that Heavenly Father has given us.
We ended up talking for a while as I walked to my next class, and we talked about a lot of great things--spiritually, academically, and just in general.
As we were finishing talking and I was about to walk into my classroom, a girl that I have never met or seen before stood by me, like she was waiting to tell me something. As I turned to her, she grabbed my arm, smiled and said, "I just wanted to let you know that your glasses are so adorable! You look so cute in them!"
I stood there speechless, and just smiled at her, half-laughed out of surprise and thanked her for that. It was such a simple gesture, but it meant so much to me today. I don't know if it was coincidence or not, but maybe she was prompted by the Spirit to say something and cheer me up a little bit.
I sat through my next few classes (even had a teacher extend a date on a project that most of the class, including me, hadn't known about), and tried to just keep a positive attitude. As I left class, a random girl walked by me on the sidewalk, and complimented me on my glasses as well, telling me that they were "super cute". I haven't had people compliment my glasses that much in one day before! I walked the rest of the way to devotional by myself, just smiling, knowing that Heavenly Father was sending these little messages to me to help me feel better about myself and today in general. The sun shining and birds singing definitely made it better too!
I walked into the I-Center (where we have devotionals) and sat down by myself, getting my journal out and just pouring out gratitude for today. I then said a little prayer of thanks, and to have devotional say at least something that was meant for me.
However, not one thing was said that was meant for me. Instead, the ENTIRE devotional was meant for me. It was such an incredible experience. Two of my favorite hymns were sung, "There is Sunshine in my Soul", as well as "I Know That My Redeemer Lives".
Lately, I haven't necessarily felt sad or anything, but it just has felt like something has been missing. Looking back, I know it's a difference of how much time I spend online on Pinterest, Facebook, or even just on things that are distracting me from what's really important. There's a lot of interesting information out there, but information that I could save for later, or at least not binge on instead of reading scriptures, listening to General Conference talks, or reading church publications. I had a week where I completely cut out (or extremely limited myself) social media and instead filled that time with listening to talks from General Conference as I did my homework.
Let me just say, that was an incredible experience, and I don't know why I really stopped doing it the next week. The only excuse I have is that I kept finding excuses like, "I don't have enough time", or "I've listened to so many lately, I'll just take a break for a little bit." Don't do that! I should have connected my positive experience with my striving for the Spirit, but instead I just took a "break" that led to me not feeling as happy or complete, or even just capable of doing what I had been able to just a week ago.
Brother Stoddard gave the devotional talk today, and it was about "Living in the Manner after Happiness". He talked about how in many instances, adversity doesn't always come from being disobedient to the commandments, and don't have to do with sin at all. Some adversity comes from our weaknesses, other's choices, and the simple fact that we live in a Telestial Kingdom--it's never going to be easy!
We will always have adversity, but it is up to us to decide how to handle the life we have been given. The three tips he gave were to have:
1) Faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, knowing that they have been through exactly what we are going through right now, and the situations we are in are for the molding and shaping of our spiritual benefit,
2) Keep an eternal perspective, and as my piano teacher once said, "Begin with the end in mind."
3) Take action, don't be acted upon. Show Heavenly Father you want the best for your life, and are willing to do anything to follow Him.
I won't jot down all the notes I took, but I'm glad I forgot my devotional notebook and had to bring my regular school spiral bound notebook today--I filled up 5 pages worth of notes!
Long story short, if you're still reading this, know that Heavenly Father really does know what you are going through, what you need to be able to get through it, and knows you CAN get through it. You will not be put through any situation He knows you can't get through! Adversity is there for us to be tested, but will be a blessing in disguise for us, if we handle it well. Through our adversities, we gain testimonies, compassion, and advice for others who land in adversity as well.
Don't fall into the "I'll be happy when ____" trap. Be happy with where you are right now! Make the best out of every situation!
And know that if you look for the good in every situation, Heavenly Father will help send blessings to help you realize that the situation isn't as bad as we make it out to be.
I know He did that for me today.
Today was meant for me. And I am so thankful!
Live. Love. Laugh. Grow.
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