For I Have Learned

Remember my last post? The one where I said we need to be happy in the moment? To "stop seeking the storms and more fully enjoy the sunlight?"

It's funny how life can quickly flip flop on you, almost like a test, just to see if you really were paying attention.

The closest thing I can think of is when you're in a car with someone and they yell, "Brake test!", quickly slamming on the brakes, making sure you have your seat belt on. Yes, you're tucked in and protected by that seat belt, but you're kind of thrown about, making you realize how grateful you are for the boundaries you have, the testimony you have, and the security of the gospel wrapped around you.

That probably makes it sound like this week was the worst week of my life. It really wasn't, but it definitely wasn't as great as last week. It's hard to have weeks where you feel on top of Cloud 9, having assignments turned in early, and having spare time, feeling the Spirit every second of every day, and having things go just your way to then turn to the next week, struggling to just get by every day without feeling like you're up to your nose in homework, feeling behind, or just struggling to get everything done that you need to.

For whatever reason, today was just a hard day. Perhaps it was just a Monday. Perhaps it's just the cabin fever going on. Perhaps it was because it was so nice outside last week, and then snowed and was extremely cold and windy today. I don't know.

However, I somehow pulled the good from it. It was exhausting, but I wasn't overwhelmed, I wasn't beaten up over it, and I managed to end the day with a smile. It may or may not have been forced, but it was a smile!

It helped when I turned my phone on this morning, waking up to my scripture app, saying, "...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." (Philippians 4:11)

Often, I'll find myself wishing I was a few steps ahead, or just knowing what comes next in the picture of my life. All my life I've had something I could control just ahead of me. High school turned into college, I picked my degree, and had a plan for four years, etc. But now, looking ahead, there's unlimited possibilities, and a lot of them are things that I don't really control. Things such as student teaching placements, marriage, etc.

However, there are two things that I've learned that I can somewhat control in my life:

1. I know that even more than teaching in Elementary schools, I want to further my education and get a Master's degree in Speech-Language Pathology. I don't know which school I'd go through to get that, but a few have caught particular attention of mine: Boston University, BYU Provo, and Idaho State University, as well as Utah State University. I'd love to help kids in schools, patients in nursing homes, rehabilitation centers, hospitals, etc, be able to get their ability of speech back. Plus, I'd have to learn sign language, which is something I've always wanted to learn how to do!

2. To be content and happy with my life right now, I can take control of the situations I'm in, make the most of them, and just realize the beauty in every day that is given to me. I'm really good at the "I'll be happy when..." trap, but that's something I'm trying to change. I want to look back at where I am in a few years with a smile on my face, remembering how much I enjoyed my time by myself, where I learned and grew the most, and pursued an education, rather than dreaming and putting together unrealistic or premature expectations of my future, wasting time on things that I could otherwise be doing something beneficial, etc.

Things will happen when and where they are supposed to happen, if we are living to our best potential and living according to Heavenly Father's will. He has a greater plan than we do, but we still have to take action on our lives. That's what agency was given to us for.

I hope you join me on this journey of being content with where we are right now. Don't wish for things you can't control--or at least, don't be dwelling on them. Live the life you can control, and Heavenly Father will step in and fill in the blanks of the life you can't control. Life the life Heavenly Father would be proud of, and live the life that you would be proud of.

Live. Love. Laugh. Grow.